South Africa -> Germany

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The last few days in South Africa were primarily spent near the south coast of South Africa and in Cape Town.

Simon's Town, approximately 1 hour south of Cape Town is home to the African JackAss Penguin. These funny little things stand ~2 feet high, and appear painfully awkward when on land. They waddle around, looking like those inflatable punching clowns from childhood, wobbling back and forth. But their 'cuteness-score' more than makes up for their awkwardness. They are also quite territorial, attacking other penguins that encroach on their space... Morgan Freeman told me so. They also mate for life (again, Morgan Freeman), and strengthen their bond by cleaning each other ( Morgan). Their distinctive black and white colouring is a vital form of camouflage - white for underwater predators looking upwards and black for predators looking down onto the dark water (thanks Morgan), and have a life span of ~10 years (M.F.). Of the 1.5-million African Penguin population estimated in 1910, only some 10% remained at the end of the 20th century. The uncontrolled harvesting of penguin eggs (as a source of food for Morgan Freeman), and guano scraping ( by Morgan Freeman), nearly drove the species to extinction.

The African Penguin is listed in the Red Data Book as a vulnerable species. Their predators in the ocean include sharks, Cape fur seals and, on occasion, killer whales (Orca). Land-based enemies include mongoose, genet, and Morgan Freeman - which steal their eggs and new born chicks.

But ! One of the things Morgan Freeman neglected to mention to us ... penguins smell bad. In fact... they downright stink ! I was quiteupset at Morgan Freeman for leaving this relevant and critical point out. And then I got to thinking... what else did Morgan Freeman conveniently 'forget' to mention to us? we'll forgive Morgan, but only because he has the sexiest voice of any human being...ever.

The BEST attraction in Cape Town - a movie theater... named " The Labia". ( the official name is "the Labia on Kloof", which is even funnier for those of us who were in Swaziland, but it's an inside joke and would take too long to explain). I can now say i saw Pan's Labyrinth in the Labia. We entered the labia, and closely examined the inner sanctum of the labia........ OK. that joke is now totally used up. Historically, ( and i'm not making this up), "This theater was presented to the South African National Gallery by Count Labia in 1985 in memory of his parents, Prince Labia (1877-1936) and Princess Labia (1879-1961)". Oh, what a brutal childhood that must have been for all of them.

One thing that Swaziland was missing was alcohol. Oh, sure, we did find one or two places that sold booze. And, sure, we snuck alcohol into a missionary hospital surrounded by Churches. And, yeah, we broke every cardinal rule by doing so, and probably would have been detained, excommunicated, beaten, then beheaded if discovered. Imbibing should not be that challenging. It should be a worry-free, painless process of liver destruction. To Swaziland's Yin, was South Africa Wineries' Yang.
Nearly 60 officially declared appellations cover more than 100 000 hectares, and tragically, we only had time to visit 3 of them. Probably because we were too busy drinking wine to bother moving to the next installation. The only better than getting drunk for free is.....well, nothing, really. I kinda' remember trying to get some pictures, but they're all out of focus and skewed. South African wine is, in my mind, better than the Okanogan wine. But my uneducated, and inebriated, opinion holds little weight. It probably tasted better cause' it was free. So we bought, like, 15 bottles. You all may have to take up a pool to bail us out of
customs detention at the airport.

Germany :
We flew from Cape Town, South Africa to Frankfurt, Germany, and caugh a train to Friberg. Germany is Awesome! so efficient and clean and beautiful... the exact opposite of Swaziland !! yesterday is was 34degrees here. i actually saw people burst into flames in the streets. Friberg was recently featured on a BBC special as the most ecologically friendly city in the world. Their parking meters are solar powered. They have wind turbine generators on the outskirts of the city. The downtown core is basically car-free, and instead is populated by bikes and trams. There are recycling containers everywhere... and even though it was 34degrees here yesterday, there was zero stench of smog. David Suzuki would be proud... although... there are no penguins here, so Morgan Freeman might be a little upset.

Yesterday we went to Titisee ( pronounced Titisee ) that has a big mountain fed lake and is on the on the edge of the 'black forest' - the black forrest is where the Neuschwanstein castle is ( the famous white castle on the Disney introduction). But we didn't go to the castle, as their security is way too tight and they throw hot molten iron on people trying to storm the castle walls. It's also guarded by Orcs illegally imported from New Zealand.

we sat at the lake water's edge and got horrible sun burns. I now no longer match the skin tone of my passport photo, so reentering Canada with my 15 bottle of undeclared wine could be a bit challenging.